If you’ve ever skipped one workout and thought, “Well, I’ve blown it, what’s the point for the rest of the week?”, this is for you.
All-or-nothing thinking (a.k.a. perfection or “on/off the wagon”) is one of the biggest mindset traps holding women back. In this post you’ll learn what it is, why it ruins consistency, and exactly how to live in the grey area so you stop “starting over Monday” and finally move forward.
What Is All-or-Nothing Thinking?
It’s the voice that says:
- “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.”
- “I ate half a cookie, so today’s ruined.”
- “I missed one workout — may as well write off the week.”
Everything becomes binary: you’re either 100% “on plan” or 100% “off.” That “screw it” button feels powerful in the moment, but it destroys progress.
If you got one tyre puncture, you wouldn’t slash the other three.
Don’t trash a whole week because of one imperfect choice.
Why Perfection Kills Results
Consistency (not perfection) drives every result, fat loss, muscle gain, energy, mood, confidence. Life will never be perfect: birthdays, sick kids, deadlines, weekends away. You will slip sometimes.
The damage doesn’t come from the slice of pizza. It comes from the story you tell yourself after the slice:
- “I’ve failed” → all-out spiral
- “I can course-correct” → back on track at the next meal
When you swing between “spotless” and “chaos,” your body, habits, and self-trust never get a chance to adapt.
Scales, Fluctuations & Freak-Outs
Most women I coach see the scale jump 1–2 lbs from hormones, salt, or timing and panic. Cue the all-or-nothing spiral.
Remember:
- Daily scale weight fluctuates (even at maintenance).
- One uptick doesn’t mean fat gain.
- Your trend over time matters, not a single data point.
(If you want my deep-dive training on scale weight fluctuations, DM me “SCALES” and I’ll send it.)
The Fix: Learn to Live in the Grey
Perfection isn’t the goal. Presence is. Here’s how to shift.
1) Redefine “On Plan”
“On plan” doesn’t mean flawless. It means best available choice.
- Planned 10,000 steps, got 9,000 because your child was ill? Still a win.
- Unplanned pizza slice at dinner? Cool. Next meal: protein + veg + carbs, back to normal.
2) Use the Next Best Choice Mantra
Every time the “screw it” voice appears, ask:
What’s my next best choice?
Examples:
- Drink a glass of water
- Take a brisk 10-minute walk
- Log what you ate so you can adjust the rest of the day
3) Gentle Course-Correction
Not punishment, adjustment.
- Higher-calorie lunch? Make dinner protein-forward, add salad, keep carbs sensible.
- Missed a workout? Book the next slot now, or do a 20-minute home strength circuit.
4) Rebuild Self-Trust with Micro-Promises
Self-trust is built, not bought.
- Make a tiny promise (log food today, walk 10 minutes).
- Keep it.
- Notice how it feels.
- Repeat and build (10 → 15 → 20 minutes).
You’re training the identity: “I’m the person who follows through.”
Practical Playbook (Steal This)
Daily Non-Negotiables
- Protein at every meal
- Steps target (break into 3–4 mini walks)
- 2–3L water
- 7–8 hours sleep (set a bedtime alarm)
- Planned breakfast/lunch/snacks
- Training scheduled like a hair appointment
If Today Goes Sideways
- Food: Next meal = protein + veg + a smart carb.
- Movement: 10–20 minute brisk walk or 3 sets each of squats, rows, presses.
- Mindset: Write one sentence: “I’m back on track with my next best choice.”
Home & Travel Backups
- Dumbbells or resistance bands at home
- “Car kit”: protein bars/shakes, water, cutlery, napkins
- Go-to orders:
- Coffee shop: skinny latte + protein bar
- Supermarket: cooked chicken + bagged salad + microwave rice
- Restaurant A/B/C plan chosen before you go
The Identity Shift
Stop narrating “I can’t stick to anything.” Start asking:
- What can I remove or move to make this possible?
- What’s the smallest action I can take in the next 10 minutes?
When you change the story, you change the behaviour. When you change the behaviour, you change the result.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Start with the next best choice, not next Monday.
Want Help Making This Your New Normal?
If you’re done with the all-or-nothing loop and want calm, steady progress, I’ve got limited spaces inside Reclaim You. DM me RECLAIM on Instagram or apply via the link https://tr.ee/Gt3-D_A5pe we’ll build a structure that fits your life (and actually sticks).